Category Archives: Political

ISYN: Cali Ballot Proposes the “Killing of Gays”



Buckle up, this is the real deal.

This past February Matt McLaughlin an attorney in Huntington Beach, California, spent $200 dollars (read: less than the cost of any worthwhile piece of technology / 10 Starbucks coffees) to propose a ballot called the “Sodomite Suppression Act” that would legalize the killing of gays and bisexuals by “bullets to the head” or “any other convenient method.”



Even more disturbing than this is the fact that this proposition will likely make it further along the political conveyor belt to the ‘signature stage,’ a point where it will almost certainly be stricken down; however, in the meantime, State Attorney General Kamala Harris has no legal choice but to push it along the line for its eventual rejection.

Further to straight up murder, the proposed measure also includes a $1 million dollar fine and 10 year prison sentence for anyone that spreads “sodomistic propaganda” to a minor.  This, obviously, makes little to no sense as a) promotional material for sodomy is (most likely) non-existent anyway, and b) holy shit what are they talking about in the first place.

Previously declined $200 batshit-crazy ideas to be proposed in California include the banning of divorce and making Christmas caroling mandatory for public school students.  Greater detail after the jump.

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Sorry, America: You’re Still Kind of Racist

Let me make one thing clear before getting into this story: I am not anti-America.  I think America can (and should) stand for good in this world, however, I also believe that parts of it are absolutely not doing that.  I am, alternatively, pro-people; I believe in universal human rights – like having the freedoms of speech and mobility, as well as the right to a due process if accused of some crime, and the right to unbiased decisions based on race, creed or sexual orientation.  These last rights, however, are still regularly being ignored and, despite the fact that equality is at an all-time high in not only North America, but the world (though I’m not blind to the lengths we as a species still need to go), sexual and racial biases, even segregation, continue to persist.

While it may not only be America that is guilty of these egregious missteps in relation to what is becoming more and more socially acceptable and normal, it is America that is in the spotlight.

First, the issue – a high school in Wilcox county, Georgia, holds annually two proms: one for the black students, and one for the white students.  This high school, however, has not broken any civil rights laws as these proms are funded by the parents and students within the school, thereby making them hosts of the events, and thereby responsible for their message.  The school, however, does condone these segregated dances, and has some form of input as to their running.


1950s or Wilcox County, Georgia, this afternoon?  You decide.

The reason that this is only now in the media’s spotlight is because several students at this school, specifically four girls who are best friends (of which two are white, and two of African-American descent), have taken it upon themselves to raise the money for the school’s first integrated prom.  This means that, until the year 2013, no student, parent, or educational/governmental group in the area has made any kind of serious effort to put on a prom that would see all students get to attend the same dance, regardless of race or creed.  Furthermore, the school also holds separate homecoming events for each race.

“We are all friends,” one of the girls told the local press.  “That’s just kind of not right that we can’t go to prom together.”

Now, I’m not a doctor.  I’m also not a rocket scientist, civil rights expert, or law-maker, but when a few 16 year old girls are the only people making rational statements to the press about the right or wrongness of separating students by race, and in the year 2013 mind you, it may be time to reevaluate your whole approach to life.  Look around, Georgia… America… times have changed and (holy shit) it’s about time you did too.

If at this point you’re asking yourself why some sort of protest hasn’t happened, here’s your answer: last year, when a bi-racial student attempted to attend the white-only prom, police were called in to ask him to leave the premises.  In the school’s own lame attempt to unify this school, however, this year they have decided that there will be only one prom king and one prom queen – thought it won’t really make a difference as the Queen is a black student and the King is a white student, so they’ll never have a dance together and were not even allowed to be photographed together for the school yearbook.

If you aren’t disgusted yet, this:  the four girls who have bravely taken on the task of holding this integrated prom have run into some problems along the way… the girls, after putting posters up in the halls for the integrated prom have actually had “people ripping them down at the school” probably out of a fear of change or just because whythefucknot.

Is it time for a country-wide standard on these types of issues?  I hesitate, as well, to use the word “issues” because, really, why is it even an issue at all?  Just when you think we, as a people, have grown up, have found some common sense, or otherwise changed for the better, you stumble upon a story like this and it feels like maybe we deserve to be blind-sided by a continent-sized asteroid.

As far as I’m concerned the focus should be on whether this segregation is right-or-wrong on the whole, and the answer, I think, is fairly black and white.

(Pun intended.)

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Ontario’s ‘Social Farter’ Campaign Takes Aim at So-Called ‘Social Smokers’

We all have that friend – the so-called ‘social‘ smoker, someone who only typically lights up on weekends or while drinking; they insist that they are, in fact, not actually a smoker, probably because they don’t want to be associated with the yellow nails/teeth and mentally-tangible stench that accompanies such a label.  Ontario’s Health Minister, however, has done the rest of society a favour by calling these people out on their horseshit stance by running a new campaign entitled Quit the Denial.

The campaign focusses on a direct comparison between farting and smoking, and even creates what they term a social-farter, someone who farts only around friends, at parties, and to, and I quote, “break the ice.”


Either that’s a really good fart, or her ass just took a drag on a wicked ciggy!

“Well it’s true that I fart,” begins the girl in the ad, “but I wouldn’t call myself a farter,” she says as if there’s a terrible stigma attached to the phrase.”

“I’m a social farter.”

In what is perhaps the best line from the advert, and the most potent mockery of social smoking, the girl quietly admits that she will use farting as a way to meet a new guy.  The ad cuts away to her asking a fellow party-goer if he’d “like to go outside for a fart.”  The man replies with restrained enthusiasm: yes.

Check out the ad below – pass it on to your “social smoking” friends and let them know one thing: that social smoking is just as ridiculous as social farting… and both stink.

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Two Stumps, One Gun: Double Amputee Shoots Wal-Mart Employee

Saturday afternoon at a Wal-Mart in Anchorage, Alaska, would not, admittedly, be the most exciting time to shop for household goods;  that is, unless, you were shopping at the Wal-Mart in Anchorage Alaska this Saturday afternoon when a man with two amputated legs, and who was driving a motorized shopping cart shot a Wal-Mart employee in the stomach over a dispute regarding his service dog.

Daniel Pirtle, 45, was told he could not have his service dog, apparently just a puppy, in the store without any type of restraint (the dog was not on a leash).  While being escorted to the door, Pirtle reportedly shot the Wal-Mart employee, Jason Mahi, in the stomach and attempted to flee the scene in the motorized shopping cart.  Police, I think obviously, ambushed him and removed his prosthetic legs before he made it too far (and so he couldn’t make it any further), and arrested him, holding him on a $50 000 cash-only bail.  The dog has been taken by a separate Anchorage officer for care and snuggles.

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I don’t always wear a shirt, but when I do I’m killing living creatures.

Why or how pictures of this man in these contexts would be allowed to turn up by whomever he’s being represented by is a mystery to me; unless, of course, he is being represented by his friend and confidant ZZ Top, seen at right of the second picture above.  Ugh, American gun laws; where are the terrible t-shirt and webcam pic laws, I ask you?  WHERE ARE THEY?!

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Vatican Buys Europe’s Biggest Gay Bathhouse

Are you tired of hearing news that is entirely too believable?  Obviously.

In a move that can only be called “this-shit-can’t-be-written-and-yet-is-somehow-writing-itself!” the Vatican has gone ahead and purchased (for roughly $30 million dollars) a block in Rome to use as apartments for its Cardinals.  The problem, as the headline suggests, is that this block also contains Europe’s largest all-male bathhouse, Europa Multiclub.  The Vatican, of course, has plead ignorance to knowing of the club’s existence, however, amidst all the scandal the Catholic church faces in this subject, one has to wonder just what they’re thinking making such a purchase.

Obviously, the timing of this could, perhaps, be better as the Vatican is getting set to elect a new Pope within the week.  This announcement comes alongside persistent rumours of ex-Pope-Benedict XVI’s involvement/connection to a network of supposedly-gay church officials, and his so-called “bro crush” on his right hand man, ‘Gorgeous’ Georg Gaenswein – an archbishop compared to the likes of George Clooney due to his rugged handsomeness, and the man that will remain living with Benedict XVI, even after his departure from the seat of the Pope.

Hopefully, should these rumours be true, Benedict XVI can live the remainder of his life in happiness and however he chooses – with or without the companionship (to whatever degree) of ‘Gorgeous’ Georg.  Just be who you are inside, Catholic church; the world will accept you.

Except Texas.  Texas won’t accept you.


Salt n’ Pepper and everything!

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Bring Your Gun: 15% off. Use it: Free!

Amidst all the drama, tension, terror and sadness that happens every day due to guns and related violence, particularly in the United States of America, there is one more story making headlines in the last couple days that I think important to draw attention to.

In Virginia Beach, VA, a restaurant owner named Jay Laze has taken it upon himself to employ a 15 % discount for anyone that comes into his All Around Pizzas and Deli and shows off their firearm.  This discount also, strangely enough, applies to anyone who simply brings in their concealed weapons permit as opposed to the actual weapon itself.

While this promotion was started roughly a week ago (February 11/12 or thereabouts), and was intended to run for a limited time, Laze says that the response to it has been so overwhelming that he is considering keeping it active; an estimated 80% of restaurant patrons participated in the promotion, with one visitor going so far as to bring in an AK-47.


I said DOUBLE cheese!

While this is, certainly, a major component of what many American’s perceive to be one of their basic rights, it terrifies me to speculate just how long these farces can carry on before someone is seriously hurt… by which I mean, “how long will this carry on until people are killed so frequently that the government is forced into action?”

While many people retort with “this must be the safest place on Earth to eat – everyone is capable of protecting themselves,” I don’t believe we should live in a society where ‘who draws first’ is a fear that we must live with every day, and in every corner of society.

Just let me eat my pizza in piece (sic).

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