Category Archives: Tweet Trends

(Sort of) Friday’s Tweet Trends 03/16-17/13

Each Friday (or shortly thereafter, on occassion) I’ll be analyzing Twitter’s tweet trends as after a busy week people, generally, like to take to the internet to bitch, moan, or commentate on world goings-on.  Here are your tweet trends for Friday and Saturday, March 16th and 17th:

#36MillionBeliebers  –  In keeping with one of Twitter’s seemingly inescapable functions, updating the world on everything Justin Bieber and doing so absolutely constantly, today we’re regaled with the news that the Biebs’ fandom has now reached 36 million people.  For reference, that’s more than the population of Canada and 207 other countries individual populations.  I think I’m going to be sick.

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When Bieber releases a so-called ‘Best of’ album, they’ll have Charles’ permission to die.

#IKnowImNotTheOnlyOneWho – While a little long for a hashtag trend, this one provides a great opportunity to reveal to the world just how strange we, as a species, truly are.  Highlights from this week include running away from the dark, sniffing books, and the very real need for a sarcastic font.

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Snape won’t admit he’s done those things until he’s sure they aren’t being sarcastic.

#NothingFeelsBetterThan – In the everlasting words of Bart Simpson, ‘if it feels good, do it.’  Top tweeters in this category include the hilarious Not a Cop, the unintentionally hilarious Deer Hunting and, of course, the infallible Darth Vader.  In true redneck fashion, Deer Hunting expresses their joy of shooting large animals and then watching them scamper off and die a slow, agonizing death, while Darth quotes one of his favourite movies and NoNarkHere does something inappropriate with some mary-jane.

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Now to find some deer-hunter-hunting droids.

Happy / St. Patrick’s Day –  Delaying this past week’s Tweet Trends post allowed me include St. Patrick’s day postings in a timely fashion (that is, a day late rather than a week late!).  Tweets today included a misconception about snakes in Ireland, some bitterness over Cinco de Mayo, Darth Vader looking for the dark side, and Iron Man’s JARVIS playing a prank on Stark himself.  Here are the tweet-o-sphere’s best efforts!

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Your call – have your clothes dyed green, or get mailed a box full of snakes.

That’s it for this week, folks – see you in seven (or so) days with next week’s tweet-trends!

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Friday’s Tweet Trends 03/08/13

Each Friday I’ll be analyzing Twitter’s tweet trends as after a busy week people, generally, like to take to the internet to bitch, moan, or commentate on world goings-on.  Here are your tweet trends for Friday, March 8th:

#SadDrSeuss  –  Admittedly, this week’s Tweet Trends is starting off on a retro-active note; this was one of the better trends last week and I forgot to include it at the time of my posting, so here it is – Seussian rhyming tweets with a dark humour twist.  As could be expected, College Humor had one of the best:

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Also, ‘I Am Sam’ doesn’t like ‘green eggs and ham’ either.

#thebiggestlies – As usual, tweeters took the opportunity to un-ceremoniously passive-aggressive-the-shit out of each other by posting terribly, terribly morose teenage one-liners like “when (he/she) says they always loved me” or “that you never meant to hurt me.”  Second most used, thus unbearable comment?  “I’m ok.”  I thought this was a little more befitting of the category though:

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Considering bottles 1 and 3 have pink-eye and jaundice, I don’t know why we EVER trusted L’Oreal Kids.

#ICanHonestlySay – Once again the general Twittersphere took the opportunity to post their collective tweet-dumps (or tweeces as they shall now be called) about how, honestly, they’re “sick of bitchez be actin’ tough,” etc.  College Humor submitted one of the better posts, again, and Skittles’ official Twitter flexed its weird-muscle, perhaps outdoing even themselves in the that-doesn’t-eve-make-sense category.

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And I can honestly say I don’t know WTF you’re talking about, Skittles.

#ChildhoodConfessionNight – In a category rife with confessions about watching shows or movies that have only recently passed on (thus making their tweeters, in fact, still what only amounts to late-childhood age), these two posts stood out and got a bit of a chuckle.

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You know, that metallic taste you get in your mouth from eating pennies!

#ImTiredOfHearing – Terrible tweets!  Most tweeters had something to say about music, while one tweeter (who actually has a sense of humour) is just sick and damn tired of people complaining when he does something to intentionally piss them off.  I mean who ARE these people?

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Well played, Heckterrrr.

#SimCity – when EA launched their much awaited new version of SimCity this week to a horde of excited fans, they didn’t expect the release to be so big that their servers wouldn’t be able to handle it.  In fact, they didn’t even calculate the base numbers of users that would be logging on to their systems or even account for any surges of activity upon release and now the game, which requires a constant internet connection, is completely broken and unplayable due to the infrastructure on EA’s end being unable to handle such activity.  In one of the few non-EA-hating tweets, poster Alex Jebailey promoted one of the more obscene abilities of the new game.  Hooray for innovation!

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“Yeah, just follow ‘Tip Rd.’ all the way past the urethra on-ramp and I’m the third house on the left.”

#InternationalWomensDay – In what is perhaps the first sincere tweet posted in the FTT section of IP, a quote from Oscar Wilde and Irish Quote’s twitter account helps us to celebrate all the women in our loves with a rather nice quip.

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I’m not even going to ask why you wanted to relax in this putrid swamp – I’ll just kiss you.

That’s it for this week, folks – see you in seven days with next week’s tweet-trends!

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Friday’s Tweet Trends 03/01/13

Each Friday I’ll be analyzing Twitter’s tweet trends as after a busy week people, generally, like to take to the internet to bitch, moan, or commentate on world goings-on.  Here are your tweet trends for Friday, March 1st:

#JediMindMeld  –  President Barack Obama yesterday, speaking on something related to budget, American debt, or something else equally unimportant to the average man, uttered the phrase “Jedi mind-meld” with reference to his desired ability to become one-minded with people that are opposing his relatively rational strategies.  The problem?  The term ‘jedi’ is from Star Wars whereas ‘mind meld’ belongs in the Star Trek universe.  Whoops.  Comedian Rob Delaney no likey:

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… but would a Jew-Pope with a lightsaber be acceptable?

#weakfor – while most people took this as an opportunity to express their increasingly terrible ideas of romanticism (see: “#weakfor him when he smiles that sweet smile at me”), tweeter Becky Riley opted for a, well, better approach:

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Like, “orca” fat.

#NileRanger – Newcastle United’s former English footballer was all the rage on Twitter Friday as well, as news of his departure from the club spread like wildfire across the Twittersphere.  Ranger, at only 21, is famous for his multiple run-ins with the law including, but not limited to, robbery, assault, drunk&disorderly, homophobic slurs, and criminal damage.  Fans, devastated by his departure, have tweeted such things as the following:

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“That sonovabitch burned my house down!”

#DancePonyDance – UK mobile-device company Three launched a new ad campaign recently featuring a dancing pony In one of England’s more scenic locales.  Three’s official twitter account paid homage to the screaming goat and sneezing panda before it, tweeting the following:

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Credit where credit is – BAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

After first post this video link was changed to an AD for Three Network.  Shame on you, 3.

#BeliebersHatePaparazzi– And, finally, Justin Bieber’s 19th birthday has been ruined by a combination of security at the nightclub he attended in London, his good friend Lil Twist (wtf?) getting pulled over by cops in Bieber’s $100 000 hybrid Fisker Karma for making an ‘unsafe lane change’ and, of course, the paparazzi.  Like all good followers, Bieber’s famed (and terrible) ‘Beliebers’ took to twitter using the previously mentioned hashtag and had much bitching and moaning to do.  Ugh.

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I ask you, does this man LOOK irresponsible?  Case closed.

That’s it for this week, folks – see you next Friday with next week’s tweet-trends!

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Friday’s Tweet Trends 2/22/12

As a weekly feature, should it prove interesting enough, I’ll be analyzing Twitter’s Friday trends as after a busy week people, generally, like to take to the internet to bitch, moan, or commentate on world goings-on.  Thusly, Friday Tweet Trends is born and the world (at least as far as social networking is concerned) is put under a microscope.  Here are your tweet trends for Friday, February 22nd:

#hall  –  not sure what exactly brings the fairly pedestrian word “hall” into our hashtag super-search, but here it is.  A cursory view of the trending tweets also elicits no real reason for it trending this week, however, the best tweet amongst the lot?  That’s easy:

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Because anything LESS than an ‘XL Fart Bomb’ would be probably smell delicious.

#TheMostAnnoyingThingsInLife – Twitter has given people the habit of finding collective ways to bitch and moan about things in group-list fashion.  Today, our most annoying things in life is the most popular group-bitch of choice.  Rounding out the best of the tweets?  Restaurant, Wendy’s official twitter account with this beauty:

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1. Aren’t you on a diet?      2. LAY OFF ME I’M STARVING!!

#DontBotherMeWhenIm – Our second group therapy session focusses on how precious how personal bubble and alone time is.  Responses ranged, mostly, from terribly lame stuff like “texting my boyfriend/girlfriend” or “angry, because I will actually, seriously, cut or punch you.”  The categories best response, however, is a little more… graphic.

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#ThingsIHateAboutSchool – Because, apparently, the only people that really use Twitter are high school teenyboppers (who are obviously filled with angst), our next category focusses on school and, well, why they hate it so, so much.  Our winner comes courtesy of comedian Adam Sandler, who probably noticed a lot of this during his forced return to school in Billy Madison.

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“I think it’s popcorn, but it might be apple skin.”

#NationalMargaritaDay – Last, but certainly not least is a bit of helpful information for you:  not ONLY is today Friday, coincidentally enough it is also National Margarita Day!  Who knew?!  Resident Twitter-Betty-White-Impersonator “BettyFckinWhite” had this to say:

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No caption needed.

Perhaps it’s best we leave it right there… yowza!

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