Category Archives: World

ISYN: Cali Ballot Proposes the “Killing of Gays”

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I SHIT YOU NOT:

Buckle up, this is the real deal.

This past February Matt McLaughlin an attorney in Huntington Beach, California, spent $200 dollars (read: less than the cost of any worthwhile piece of technology / 10 Starbucks coffees) to propose a ballot called the “Sodomite Suppression Act” that would legalize the killing of gays and bisexuals by “bullets to the head” or “any other convenient method.”

Seriously.

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Even more disturbing than this is the fact that this proposition will likely make it further along the political conveyor belt to the ‘signature stage,’ a point where it will almost certainly be stricken down; however, in the meantime, State Attorney General Kamala Harris has no legal choice but to push it along the line for its eventual rejection.

Further to straight up murder, the proposed measure also includes a $1 million dollar fine and 10 year prison sentence for anyone that spreads “sodomistic propaganda” to a minor.  This, obviously, makes little to no sense as a) promotional material for sodomy is (most likely) non-existent anyway, and b) holy shit what are they talking about in the first place.

Previously declined $200 batshit-crazy ideas to be proposed in California include the banning of divorce and making Christmas caroling mandatory for public school students.  Greater detail after the jump.

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Japan’s Burger Kings to Release ‘Whopper-Scented’ Perfume (Apparently)

While rampant speculation suggests that this is all just one huge whopper of a lie in itself, take the following with a grain of salt… or a side of fries.

Press materials coming out of Japan today suggest that Burger King is releasing a Whopper scented perfume that they will begin selling on April 1st 2015.  The date, while certainly suspicious, could simply be coincidental; however, no one really knows how Japan does April Fools jokes (or anything, for that matter), so getting all their burgers in a row a half-month ahead of schedule could just be par for the course.

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Unfortunately, the “no pickles” scent is extremely limited in number.

While common sense dictates that we should assume this to be one huge, big fat, quarter-pounder of a lie, Brian Ashcroft over at Kotaku further explains the strangeness that surrounds the whole situation:

According to Burger King Japan, April 1st is now “Whopper Day” in Japan. It’s not a national holiday (dammit!), but website Fashion Snap reports that the company registered the day with the Japan Anniversary Association, making it one of many “unofficial” holidays that exist in the country. For example, Japan has a Pocky Day

If, in fact, this does all turn out to be one big ruse, I’m sure there will be many an un-happy Japanese citizen because, let’s face it, who doesn’t want to smell like BK’s masterpiece and patented secret sauce?  Where does that leave the rest of us?

Why, holding out for an Eau de Pizza Pocket, of course!

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7-Week-Old Baby Says “Hello”

While this is not particularly shocking to me as a non-parent and additionally inexperienced babysitter/holder/coddler, the rest of the world is, apparently, finding this quite amusing.

Cillian McCann, a newborn Irish baby, repeated back ‘hello’ to his mother after several visibly trying attempts to form the word. According to Science, word formation doesn’t generally happen until around the 18th month or thereabouts, putting this baby roughly 16 months ahead of schedule.

Now, join the millions of other onlookers in watching this miniature human say something we’ve all heard a billion times:

“Dammit, baby, say it when I walk IN, not when I’m leaving.”

Next on the baby’s To-Do list are 1) taking solid poos, and 2) prank calling his parents.  Walking and getting into Oxford should follow shortly thereafter.

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India’s Holi 2015 / OR Awesomeness we’re missing out on…

As the sun crosses what is known as the celestial equator towards the end of March we, as North Americans, will pass officially into spring.  Until then, unfortunately, we are in what only seems to be the middle of a very long, cold winter, eager for any sort of reprieve.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the Earth, people in India are celebrating their coming of spring today, March 6th, in one of the greatest ways that one could imagine: having an all-out, no holds barred colour fight (the word fight, here, being used in a sort of gleeful opposition, rather than anything nasty).

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Various munitions, forged from captured rainbows.

Known as the festival of love or festival of colours, Holi is a time to welcome spring and to celebrate nature by flinging colourful powders and water on your friends, family and total strangers, both old and young – and as long as you’re out on the streets or in a public space, you are fair game as a target.

Best Holi 2015 colours shop in USA

Tragedy today, as an explosion rips through the Kool-Aid factory.

While not celebrated exclusively by Hindus, Holi is rooted in ancient Hindu belief and is also a day for forgiving, forgetting, and starting anew – practices that many people, not just of Hindu faith or Indian descent, can surely appreciate the value of.

The festival (which in some parts of India lasts 16 days!) is marked by singing, dancing, and ritual bonfires, and is an opportunity for the community to come together, have fun, and strengthen their bonds.

Well done, India… save some ammunition for me for next year.

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