Tag Archives: funny

ICYMI: ‘The Sandlot’ Scene Recreated by NY Yankees

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There are only a few things from the early years of my life that I hold close with an absolute ninja grip, and the most important of those things may be cinema.

Movies have the power to inspire, to add colour and intrigue to a life in the ordinary, and to inspire us to be creative, adventurous and, simply, more interesting.

While most of us have extremely fond memories / recollections of watching our favourite movies over and over, I’m sure a great number of us feel as though modern cinema just hasn’t captured that family-oriented action/comedy that was so popular during the 80s and 90s.

For me, this is most embodied in the Back to the Future franchise; its storyline is brilliant, its writing is fantastic, and the way everything works out in the end is just so heartfelt and genuine that it illustrates the passion and love for the craft of storytelling that everyone involved in making the film so wholeheartedly possessed.

While there are many such examples of great films, and films with which I have powerful, long-lasting memories, one of my favourites (and that I still quote to this day) is The Sandlot.

Without going into too much detail because, let’s face it, there are few who are uninitiated in the hilarity that is The Sandlot, here is a brief synopsis: kid is new to town and has no friends – he moved there with his mom and new step dad.  The step dad is a massive baseball fan and has a collection of rare memorabilia.  The kid eventually goes out and makes some friends, who all play ball and, even though he sucks, he joins them in play.  When they lose the last ball they have during play, and wanting to be the hero, he runs home to grab his step dad’s signed Babe Ruth ball and then brings that back to play with.  The ball is then promptly hit over a fence into a terrifying man’s backyard, and is caught by an impossibly huge dog nicknamed the beast.  The rest of the movie is a hilarious quest to retrieve the ball.

Also, Darth Vader himself, James Earle Jones, plays the terrifying old man, who *spoiler* actually isn’t that terrifying.

Anyway, long story short, the New York Yankees did us all an awesome favour and recreated one of the funny scenes from the movie – my vote is for more of this!

Let’s go Anaheim Ducks, I want to see some ‘flying V’ action!

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Poo-Stench Grounds British Airways Flight

Airplanes fly through some crazy stuff. They go up and over thunderstorms, they easily survive temperature gradients from over 40° C to well below -70° C; some can even dodge missiles, or fly nearly into outer space. However, just this week, a British Airways flight from Heathrow to Dubai was forced to abort mission for what is perhaps the silliest reason of all time.

Was it birds on the runway? Nope.

Was it ice on the wings? Nope.

Was it, god forbid, a terrorist threat? Nope.

What grounded this flight was a passenger. Not an unruly passenger, no. It was a passenger with a severe problem – a severe toilet problem. A fellow passenger later tweeted that the flight was aborted due to a “smelly poo in the toilet.”

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“Blimey, I know airplane food is bad but this is ridiculous…”

To quote the pilot, who ordered the plane to return to Heathrow, the reason for the returned flight was a ‘pungent odour’ coming from one of the plane’s bathrooms, emitting from what he, quite colourfully describe to be “liquid fecal excrement.”

Apparently the crew had “examined” the problem, and were “unable to fix it,” leading some to speculate that this particular poo was not limited to the boundaries of the toilet bowl… if you catch my poo drift.

While this passenger, who remains nameless (though certainly not without nickname), has checked one more item off of their (poo) bucket list, I now need to devise a more nefarious plan for getting one of my own flights grounded via bodily fluid.

Also, I’ll need to return all of this Ex-Lax.

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ICYMI: Happy Gilmore returns to kick Bob Barker’s Ass!

In case you missed it…

If you don’t understand the title of the article, please leave.

Now that that’s out of the way, Comedy Central has done us all a massive favour by bringing Adam Sandler and Bob Barker back together on screen.  The two famously kicked each other’s asses in Happy Gilmore back in 1996 (yes, seriously, that was 1996), and we have all been itching for a rematch since the credits rolled.

You’ve waited almost 20 years for this… so wait no longer:

The price is still wrong, bitch

Now, if they could only convince Sandler to do nothing but sequel skits to his mid-90’s catalogue, we would all live in a much better world.  Until then, feel free to re-live the original film’s glory…

Oh, and Bob?  You haven’t aged a day!

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ICYMI: Weasel Hitches Ride on Woodpecker’s Back, Internet Responds

In case you missed it…

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In something straight out of a Pixar-Disney collaboration (is that still a thing anymore?), amateur photographer Martin Le-May of Essex, UK, caught a weasel riding on the back of a woodpecker on camera.

Even better than this, however, has been the internet’s response to this amazing picture, and the birth of #WeaselPecker over on Twitter.  Behold, the glory:

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Click the above image for #WeaselPecker greatness on Twitter.

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Life-sized Clown-bot Recovered From Sex Offender’s Home

Police officers have a hard job; they are, on a nearly daily basis, confronted with unsavory people and situations, throughout which they must remain professional, courteous, and helpful.  Sometimes this means breaking up a fight between people in line at the welfare office… other times it means going undercover in order to catch drug dealers, human traffickers and organized crime… and sometimes it means raiding a registered sex offender’s house after receiving a phone tip that the occupant was hiding a stolen child-sized robotic clown that’s worth somewhere in the neighbourhood of ten thousand dollars.

Earlier this month, this is precisely what police in Wichita, Kansas, were tasked with: the retrieval of a organ-playing robo-clown named Louie that had gone missing from a theme park called Joyland more than a goddamned decade ago.

Damian Mayes, a fully-grown 39-year-old man, was harbouring the clown after (presumably) building a long-standing relationship with it during his previous tenure as organ builder / repairman at Joyland, and is now serving a prison term for child sex offences.

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No caption can make this funnier.  This actually happened.

Of course, before anybody could rest easy, the identity of the clown needed to be confirmed.  Cue Kansas’ very own news anchor, Deb Farris, on what had to be the slowest news day of all time:

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Nelson, who we will assume for the sake of hilarity is the clown’s father and / or the forensic officer that studied Louie’s dental records to confirm his identity, remained without (worthwhile) comment, and there is no word on what “other items” may be recovered, though one can expect Louie’s water-squirting flower and juggling pins to turn up sooner or later.

Farris, meanwhile, has gone on to tweet about more meaningful things, such as the testing of tornado sirens and how uncomfortable it makes her to be stuck in traffic next to trucks that are explosive.

Turns out a news day with life-sized clown dolls is pretty crackin’.

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April FOOLED: Airline’s Pay-By-Weight Policy is NO JOKE

Standing in the check-in line at an airport, contemplating excess baggage fees and what we might get gouged should we be over a single percentage of a kilo is a common occurrence.  Often, and unintentional help from sizeable people either next to us in line or on the plane itself, people wonder why it is that the passenger’s weight isn’t taken into account when these excess baggage fees are levied – if I’m over by 2 kilos on my carry-on, but the man behind me is 40 kilos heavier in weight and 1 kilo light on his bag, why am I the only one paying?  Where’s the justice?

While it would be officially late had it actually been intended as an April Fool’s joke, Samoa Air‘s “world first” pay-by-weight policy is, in fact, not intended to be any semblance of a joke.  “Airlines,” points out Samoa Air’s big boss Chris Langton, “run on weight,” and smaller aircraft demand “less variance” in the weight of passengers.

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I may or may not have just completely filled the toilet.  Saw-rayyy.

In 2011, Air New Zealand offered a similar, though true prank on April 1st that was actually a total joke.  Does this type of pricing model bother you?  Is it a benefit?  While New Zealand’s 3 News has reported that the inventive method of ticketing may not actually save you that much money, you can be the judge for yourself by calculating you own weight/cost.  Prices range from $0.50 to $2.oo a kilogram (2.20lbs), though are dependent on the route you travel.  Also, you’ll probably need to be in the southern hemisphere and living near New Zealand to make any use of this – get on it, Kiwis!!

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Ontario’s ‘Social Farter’ Campaign Takes Aim at So-Called ‘Social Smokers’

We all have that friend – the so-called ‘social‘ smoker, someone who only typically lights up on weekends or while drinking; they insist that they are, in fact, not actually a smoker, probably because they don’t want to be associated with the yellow nails/teeth and mentally-tangible stench that accompanies such a label.  Ontario’s Health Minister, however, has done the rest of society a favour by calling these people out on their horseshit stance by running a new campaign entitled Quit the Denial.

The campaign focusses on a direct comparison between farting and smoking, and even creates what they term a social-farter, someone who farts only around friends, at parties, and to, and I quote, “break the ice.”

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Either that’s a really good fart, or her ass just took a drag on a wicked ciggy!

“Well it’s true that I fart,” begins the girl in the ad, “but I wouldn’t call myself a farter,” she says as if there’s a terrible stigma attached to the phrase.”

“I’m a social farter.”

In what is perhaps the best line from the advert, and the most potent mockery of social smoking, the girl quietly admits that she will use farting as a way to meet a new guy.  The ad cuts away to her asking a fellow party-goer if he’d “like to go outside for a fart.”  The man replies with restrained enthusiasm: yes.

Check out the ad below – pass it on to your “social smoking” friends and let them know one thing: that social smoking is just as ridiculous as social farting… and both stink.

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Aussie MMA Announcer Can’t Stop Talking About His Anus

Endearing.  Interesting.  Mysterious.  Sexy.  These are the ways people describe foreign accents; North American women often swoon over the prospect of being hit on by a British or Australian man, that is, before they get called the dreaded C-word (in that effervescent way only a Brit or Aussie can deliver such a word).

Ignoring the colourful language, accents often give way to certain phrases sounding like something else entirely; for instance, ‘raise up lights’ sounds just like Australian ‘razor blades,’ and ‘good eye might’ is, obviously, an easy way to accidentally say ‘g’day mate,’ though we wonder why anyone would ever use the phrase good eye might.

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Nevermind.

In any case, sometimes the provider of the hilarity is completely unaware of what they’re saying and why it’s hilarious.  Enter Australian announcer Michael Schiavello doing his best work in last Friday’s fight between Danny Mainus and Zac Chavez.  Mainus, throughout the might, is referred to by Schiavello as what sounds like ‘my anus,’ lending itself perfectly to phrases commonly used in MMA broadcasting, such as ‘cut,’ ‘bleeding,’ and ‘getting pounded from behind with the ferocity of a velociraptor.  Enough talk: enjoy a compilation of the best moments from the fight below.

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Would-be iPad Thief Forgets to Turn off ‘Photostream’ – Hilarity Ensues.

With technology developing leaps and bounds over itself in matters of months it’s no surprise, perhaps, that stealing another person’s gadget is becoming harder and harder as well.  As most people know, iPhones now come with the feature to find themselves via any computer with internet access so long as the “find iPhone” switch is toggled ‘on’ in your settings.  This goes for iPads and iPods too as well as several other non-Apple related devices.

Suppose, however, that you lost a device that had the ‘find’ option turned off – or that the person who took your toy had a good thief’s common sense to turn off that feature; what then?  Well, when Allen Engstrom (of Little Rock, Arkansas) left his iPad on an airplane in February he was soon to find this out; the person that stole his iPad (stole used here because his name and contact information is physically etched into the back of his iPad and has thus far been ignored by the beneficially of his forgetfulness) began taking photos with her new toy which, ultimately, were uploaded his his Apple ID’s photo stream automatically, becoming available on his phone, computer, and iPod instantly.  When Engstrom realized what was happening, and just how hilarious the situation was becoming, he began posting the photos to Facebook for commentary and any information that might lead to contacting the woman for the retrieval of his iPad.

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This is the face of a criminal mastermind.

Even though the posts have yet to yield a direct connecting the the thief, Engstrom has apparently been contacted by someone with ‘information’ to share.  Here’s hoping the evil genius behind this crafty iPad heist is brought to justice – and at the very least for that shirt.

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mmmHmmm, I dun stole this iPad, derrrrrr.

…. and that hair.

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Google Glass for St. Paddy’s Day: Now you can RECORD being a drunk Asshole!

21318With St. Patrick’s day just around the corner and the recent release of Google Glass (or limited release or whatever the hell they’re calling it as, apparently, you can write an essay to Google as to just why you’re deserving enough to buy one of the few pairs of Google Glass that are on sale to the public… or something), mischief is bound to happen – at least, mischief by those rich or nerdy enough to get their hands on the product.

Over at the YouTube Stuntbear channel, however, they’ve taken it upon themselves to simulate the hilarity (and eventual hilarious tragedy) that could ensue on a St. Paddy’s day outing while outfitted with the ‘glass’ system (and whilst being a complete and total drunken asshole).  Kudos to the Stuntbear team for making the hilarious video, seen below:

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