Tag Archives: hilarious

ICYMI: Happy Gilmore returns to kick Bob Barker’s Ass!

In case you missed it…

If you don’t understand the title of the article, please leave.

Now that that’s out of the way, Comedy Central has done us all a massive favour by bringing Adam Sandler and Bob Barker back together on screen.  The two famously kicked each other’s asses in Happy Gilmore back in 1996 (yes, seriously, that was 1996), and we have all been itching for a rematch since the credits rolled.

You’ve waited almost 20 years for this… so wait no longer:

The price is still wrong, bitch

Now, if they could only convince Sandler to do nothing but sequel skits to his mid-90’s catalogue, we would all live in a much better world.  Until then, feel free to re-live the original film’s glory…

Oh, and Bob?  You haven’t aged a day!

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Ontario’s ‘Social Farter’ Campaign Takes Aim at So-Called ‘Social Smokers’

We all have that friend – the so-called ‘social‘ smoker, someone who only typically lights up on weekends or while drinking; they insist that they are, in fact, not actually a smoker, probably because they don’t want to be associated with the yellow nails/teeth and mentally-tangible stench that accompanies such a label.  Ontario’s Health Minister, however, has done the rest of society a favour by calling these people out on their horseshit stance by running a new campaign entitled Quit the Denial.

The campaign focusses on a direct comparison between farting and smoking, and even creates what they term a social-farter, someone who farts only around friends, at parties, and to, and I quote, “break the ice.”

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Either that’s a really good fart, or her ass just took a drag on a wicked ciggy!

“Well it’s true that I fart,” begins the girl in the ad, “but I wouldn’t call myself a farter,” she says as if there’s a terrible stigma attached to the phrase.”

“I’m a social farter.”

In what is perhaps the best line from the advert, and the most potent mockery of social smoking, the girl quietly admits that she will use farting as a way to meet a new guy.  The ad cuts away to her asking a fellow party-goer if he’d “like to go outside for a fart.”  The man replies with restrained enthusiasm: yes.

Check out the ad below – pass it on to your “social smoking” friends and let them know one thing: that social smoking is just as ridiculous as social farting… and both stink.

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Aussie MMA Announcer Can’t Stop Talking About His Anus

Endearing.  Interesting.  Mysterious.  Sexy.  These are the ways people describe foreign accents; North American women often swoon over the prospect of being hit on by a British or Australian man, that is, before they get called the dreaded C-word (in that effervescent way only a Brit or Aussie can deliver such a word).

Ignoring the colourful language, accents often give way to certain phrases sounding like something else entirely; for instance, ‘raise up lights’ sounds just like Australian ‘razor blades,’ and ‘good eye might’ is, obviously, an easy way to accidentally say ‘g’day mate,’ though we wonder why anyone would ever use the phrase good eye might.

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Nevermind.

In any case, sometimes the provider of the hilarity is completely unaware of what they’re saying and why it’s hilarious.  Enter Australian announcer Michael Schiavello doing his best work in last Friday’s fight between Danny Mainus and Zac Chavez.  Mainus, throughout the might, is referred to by Schiavello as what sounds like ‘my anus,’ lending itself perfectly to phrases commonly used in MMA broadcasting, such as ‘cut,’ ‘bleeding,’ and ‘getting pounded from behind with the ferocity of a velociraptor.  Enough talk: enjoy a compilation of the best moments from the fight below.

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Google Glass for St. Paddy’s Day: Now you can RECORD being a drunk Asshole!

21318With St. Patrick’s day just around the corner and the recent release of Google Glass (or limited release or whatever the hell they’re calling it as, apparently, you can write an essay to Google as to just why you’re deserving enough to buy one of the few pairs of Google Glass that are on sale to the public… or something), mischief is bound to happen – at least, mischief by those rich or nerdy enough to get their hands on the product.

Over at the YouTube Stuntbear channel, however, they’ve taken it upon themselves to simulate the hilarity (and eventual hilarious tragedy) that could ensue on a St. Paddy’s day outing while outfitted with the ‘glass’ system (and whilst being a complete and total drunken asshole).  Kudos to the Stuntbear team for making the hilarious video, seen below:

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Do People Like You Too Much? Prank Their Little Red Wagon!

Who likes being popular?  Well-liked?  Looked-up-to?  Most people that mill about in our society are, in fact, intrepid entrepreneurs of hate, who cast the warm glow of Hell over all around them then bask in the aftermath – just look to TV’s wildly popular America’s Funniest Home Videos, now in its 143th full season, childhood favourites like Home Aloneor classic video games like Spy vs. Spy.  Virtually everyone likes to see a bucket of water fall from a doorway, or anywhere, onto a dude holding an inexplicably plugged-in toaster/stereo/heart-monitor.  It’s just in our nature.

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No more Christmas presents in 3… 2… 1…

So, as a mischievous purveyor of misery, when best could you time your attacks?  People eating or bathing are easy targets, but there is the significant risk that they see your assault coming and the full effect is not realized; sleeping people, however, pose no threat to ruining your moment of glory, so wait until your target puts their head down for a rest and then strike with the ferocity of a what-the-fuck-is-that behind a baby:

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Donald Trump can’t afford this much therapy.

For more hilarity and life-enriching goodness, visit and “Like” us at Facebook, or follow our Twitter account!

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Friday’s Tweet Trends 03/01/13

Each Friday I’ll be analyzing Twitter’s tweet trends as after a busy week people, generally, like to take to the internet to bitch, moan, or commentate on world goings-on.  Here are your tweet trends for Friday, March 1st:

#JediMindMeld  –  President Barack Obama yesterday, speaking on something related to budget, American debt, or something else equally unimportant to the average man, uttered the phrase “Jedi mind-meld” with reference to his desired ability to become one-minded with people that are opposing his relatively rational strategies.  The problem?  The term ‘jedi’ is from Star Wars whereas ‘mind meld’ belongs in the Star Trek universe.  Whoops.  Comedian Rob Delaney no likey:

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… but would a Jew-Pope with a lightsaber be acceptable?

#weakfor – while most people took this as an opportunity to express their increasingly terrible ideas of romanticism (see: “#weakfor him when he smiles that sweet smile at me”), tweeter Becky Riley opted for a, well, better approach:

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Like, “orca” fat.

#NileRanger – Newcastle United’s former English footballer was all the rage on Twitter Friday as well, as news of his departure from the club spread like wildfire across the Twittersphere.  Ranger, at only 21, is famous for his multiple run-ins with the law including, but not limited to, robbery, assault, drunk&disorderly, homophobic slurs, and criminal damage.  Fans, devastated by his departure, have tweeted such things as the following:

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“That sonovabitch burned my house down!”

#DancePonyDance – UK mobile-device company Three launched a new ad campaign recently featuring a dancing pony In one of England’s more scenic locales.  Three’s official twitter account paid homage to the screaming goat and sneezing panda before it, tweeting the following:

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Credit where credit is – BAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

After first post this video link was changed to an AD for Three Network.  Shame on you, 3.

#BeliebersHatePaparazzi– And, finally, Justin Bieber’s 19th birthday has been ruined by a combination of security at the nightclub he attended in London, his good friend Lil Twist (wtf?) getting pulled over by cops in Bieber’s $100 000 hybrid Fisker Karma for making an ‘unsafe lane change’ and, of course, the paparazzi.  Like all good followers, Bieber’s famed (and terrible) ‘Beliebers’ took to twitter using the previously mentioned hashtag and had much bitching and moaning to do.  Ugh.

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I ask you, does this man LOOK irresponsible?  Case closed.

That’s it for this week, folks – see you next Friday with next week’s tweet-trends!

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The Second Funniest Thing You’ll See All Day

This needs no real intro, outro or mid-tro.  Just watch it.  Leave it to the internet to take something hilarious and, well, use it to make something else hilarious.  Also, I’m not a Taylor Swift junkie or anything like that… just a goat junkie.

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The Funniest Thing You’ll See All Day

I typically don’t resort to humour as basic or rudimentary as this, but by halfway through I could not stop laughing.  Enjoy!

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Facebook Getting Stale?

Have you grown tired of using Facebook as it's meant to be used – to connect and communicate with friends, build your own social network, and keep up with all of these people's lives?

If you answered yes, then perhaps it's time to try something new (and by 'new' I mean totally creepy, and downright hilarious). One Reddit user, CasinoRoy, felt exactly this way and so took matters into his own hands and did something ingenious:

  • Step One: find users with the same name as his
  • Step Two: choose only those users with ridiculous, self-obsessed profile pictures, then
  • Step Three: replicate those pictures in as close a manner as possible, then set as own profile pic
  • Step Four: finally, send said user a friend request and wait for nervous, angry, or lack of response to follow

Check out some of his actual photo-mockeries below!

 

 

Responses, as you can imagine, ranged from mild agitation to full blown rage, confusion and fear. In any case, we salute you CasinoRoy for, at the very least, making the Internet a little less pedestrian.

 

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