ISYN: Cali Ballot Proposes the “Killing of Gays”

I SHIT YOU NOT:

Buckle up, this is the real deal.

This past February Matt McLaughlin an attorney in Huntington Beach, California, spent $200 dollars (read: less than the cost of any worthwhile piece of technology / 10 Starbucks coffees) to propose a ballot called the “Sodomite Suppression Act” that would legalize the killing of gays and bisexuals by “bullets to the head” or “any other convenient method.”

Seriously.

Even more disturbing than this is the fact that this proposition will likely make it further along the political conveyor belt to the ‘signature stage,’ a point where it will almost certainly be stricken down; however, in the meantime, State Attorney General Kamala Harris has no legal choice but to push it along the line for its eventual rejection.

Further to straight up murder, the proposed measure also includes a $1 million dollar fine and 10 year prison sentence for anyone that spreads “sodomistic propaganda” to a minor.  This, obviously, makes little to no sense as a) promotional material for sodomy is (most likely) non-existent anyway, and b) holy shit what are they talking about in the first place.

Previously declined $200 batshit-crazy ideas to be proposed in California include the banning of divorce and making Christmas caroling mandatory for public school students.  Greater detail after the jump.

Vatican Buys Europe’s Biggest Gay Bathhouse

Are you tired of hearing news that is entirely too believable?  Obviously.

In a move that can only be called “this-shit-can’t-be-written-and-yet-is-somehow-writing-itself!” the Vatican has gone ahead and purchased (for roughly $30 million dollars) a block in Rome to use as apartments for its Cardinals.  The problem, as the headline suggests, is that this block also contains Europe’s largest all-male bathhouse, Europa Multiclub.  The Vatican, of course, has plead ignorance to knowing of the club’s existence, however, amidst all the scandal the Catholic church faces in this subject, one has to wonder just what they’re thinking making such a purchase.

Obviously, the timing of this could, perhaps, be better as the Vatican is getting set to elect a new Pope within the week.  This announcement comes alongside persistent rumours of ex-Pope-Benedict XVI’s involvement/connection to a network of supposedly-gay church officials, and his so-called “bro crush” on his right hand man, ‘Gorgeous’ Georg Gaenswein – an archbishop compared to the likes of George Clooney due to his rugged handsomeness, and the man that will remain living with Benedict XVI, even after his departure from the seat of the Pope.

Hopefully, should these rumours be true, Benedict XVI can live the remainder of his life in happiness and however he chooses – with or without the companionship (to whatever degree) of ‘Gorgeous’ Georg.  Just be who you are inside, Catholic church; the world will accept you.

Except Texas.  Texas won’t accept you.

Salt n’ Pepper and everything!